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Ever since I was pregnant with Zack, I always thought of ways that I would make Zoie feel just as important. And overall, I feel like I am doing a pretty good job. We have one-on-one dates, reading and homework time, full-blown dance sessions, etc. So imagine my surprise when I walk in to her with a face full of tears on Sunday night. Of course, my first question is “what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” And she says we spend more time with Zack then her.

I automatically got defensive and replied “That’s crazy, Zoie.” I just spent the day with her doing her hair and we spent the evening preparing my meals. But then I realized, this is her reality. We were seeing things from two different viewpoints. She sees preparing meals and doing hair as things that I want to do, not things she wants to do. And while she is sent to bed at 8:30Pm for her bedtime, we spend time in the living room putting Zack to sleep. She sees this as quality time that she is left out of.

At this point, I was really hurt. Knowing that my daughter feels neglected or left out due to my actions was hard for me to deal with. For four years, she was an only child and the world revolved around her. Overall she has done an amazing job with the transition. They are the best of friends and she is his biggest protector. She is quick to come to his rescue in his time of need and loves to mother him as if he is her son. But despite these things, I must remember she is still a child who needs and craves attention, as well.

I will continue to work on this and make sure they are both getting the attention they need and deserve. Do any other moms deal with this? What are some of your methods? Comment below!

2 thoughts on “How to Deal with Your Oldest Child Feeling Neglected”

  1. I get the same thing from Ajani, and he it’s just him. There are times he when he keeps to his self but when you see him ask for later “Me & Mommy time”. I ask him what he wants to do. If it possible to do it at that moment, I stop what I am doing and do it. If it’s not we sit pick a day and plan what we will do.
    Now we plan “Me & Mommy time” at least twice a month.

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